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Up Against Myself

from Seriously by Kaitlyn Bethel

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lyrics

I'd say it's me against the world
It's just I don't understand
How an inanimate object
Could make a mess of my plans

I've always wondered
Could there be another
Maybe eight feet under
All the stress and the weariness

No I'm not cool with this
So this is bliss?
Ignorance
I smile and I wave at the crowd
Like I'm benevolent

And selling it
What they do to me has always been so irrelevant

I know how to behave

And strange—the way
Can't even say your name
I'm a storyteller, tell myself that it was just a phase

For days

Don't worry,
I know that I'm a mess
Bet you didn't think a girl like me
Could rap like this

And it's hard
Hard the way I'm losing faith
And it's cold
Cold the way I hand out blame

She called my bluff
It's not good for my health
I'm up against myself

They brew my tea
As strong as poison these days
Sometimes it's the only thing
That's keeping me awake

But it's not the only poison
That I'm letting in my body
It's not the only label
I won't let them put on me

Beyond me
How this bitterness took root
Decided I'd be different
But I didn't think it through

Didn't notice
That I was looking right at the proof
Every time I checked the mirror
And I said that it was you

I'm through
Don't wanna grow up to be a ghosts
If I stumbled through the wardrobe
Would I find the lamppost?

Or just an empty interior?
The greatest enemy is always so familiar

BRIDGE

I guess I'll be needing a room with a view
I don't want hipster, only Holden approved

Do I need a change of scenery or just a change of heart?
When did my negativity become a work of art?

It's hard, I know, I've said it all before
They say that I'm intelligent but school is just a bore

Do I stay here in the suburbs or try a different scene?
So many years behind a desk but I don't know anything

credits

from Seriously, released May 31, 2016
Lyrics by: Kaitlyn Vick

Music by: Locke Brady

Produced by: Locke Brady

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Kaitlyn Bethel Houston, Texas

19 year old singer songwriter living in Houston, TX

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